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28 Mar

To Pay or Not to Pay? The Perception of Prostitution

28/03/2015   |   No Comments »   |   Posted in Barbara McNally

After working in an Jamaican orphanage for girls who had escaped sex trafficking, and later returning home to launch fundraising efforts around sex trafficking’s prevention and aid, I was visited by an controversial conversation regularly: legalizing prostitution. When taboo topics such as prostitution emerge in society, they remain unexamined at large because their discussions can be powerfully dynamic and unpredictable. We are literally afraid to have these types of conversation. They can be uncomfortable, directly defy everything we’ve been taught, and the “what if’s” raise anxiety that surfaces at the very question of changing a major societal norm. Basically, a lot of emotions, theology, health and safety concerns unite at the mention of legalizing prostitution. As someone who was raised in a very traditional environment, I certainly wasn’t prepared for the arguments presented to me when the subject surfaced. Their findings were shocking and thought-provoking. Five reasons legalizing prostitution can help girls caught in sex trafficking:
  1. Governments can focus on those unwillingly in prostitution (which is also kidnapping, slavery, and rape) rather than deferring energy towards two consenting adults. A large majority of individuals involved in sex trade exploitation are children – who have no consent, no voice period. Two consenting adults have a choice and if given the ability to make those choices in their own privacy, would free officials from routine prostitution busts and divert their focus to those forced into prostitution.
  1. Personal freedom. Maybe we should reexamine who is selling sex. Is a housewife who puts out for her husband to keep her house and lifestyle a prostitute? Yes, a woman can be a prostitute in marriage, or in the dating scene (otherwise called a gold-digger). While still frowned upon, our society accepts this as legal behavior, but doesn’t accept honest women who are open about their cash for sex intentions? You are choosing to merge your lifestyle as your “job” in both situations.
  1. Government regulations can offer safety. We have certain standards for the water we drink and the food we are provided. The government has the ability to regulate the sex industry, just as it does other public safety standards. If provided guidelines on operating practices, the prostitution industry would be subject to the same taxation, codes and bylaws as many of us.
  2. Health practices will improve. In legalizing prostitution, the customer will know he or she will be getting a prostitute with a clean bill of health. Nevada legalized prostitution and requires prostitutes to be tested weekly for various sexually transmitted diseases. But just as we have regulators in the alcohol, tobacco, medicinal marijuana, and other “sin tax” realms, the government can integrate regulations into the prostitution trade to make sure the sex industry is not exploiting young women and are safe and healthy. They say you can’t legislate morality, but we can make our various “sin tax” industries less destructive to oneself and others.
  1. It will keep our communities safer. Through legalization, the Internet will provide a market for making buying and selling sex easier and safer for those involved. Dangerous pimps, madams and dark corners in questionable neighborhoods are no longer needed. If it’s going to happen (and it will continue to happen, that is why it’s the world’s “oldest profession”) we might as well keep those involved and our communities safe in the process.
While the debate will continue to make waves, one must thoroughly consider the points on both the pro and con side of prostitution. What are your thoughts?

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25 Mar

Goldie Hawn: Putting Pizzazz in Partnership

25/03/2015   |   No Comments »   |   Posted in Inspirational Women

When describing Goldie Hawn, most would agree to something along the lines of funny, talented, attractive, and centered.  Not a bad montage.  But one of the most important characteristics Goldie teaches us about embodying our lover archetype is being a lover is a state of mind –not a legal formality.  Here are 4 ways Goldie shows us owning our individual convictions can create a confident and healthy love life:

If you see a pattern, learn from the reiteration of that lesson.  Goldie was married twice before she and partner Kurt Russell began their relationship.  Being that she has never pursued legalization of their relationship, we see that Goldie has partaken in a bit of self-discovery and redefined what a “marriage” meant to her.  Not every union has to be traditional in nature.  What is important is that you determine what a partnership means to you.  The more authenticity you bring into the relationship, the more stability and compatibility you will enjoy together.  (Note: Goldie and Kurt are going on 32 years together).

Fulfill your personal goals.  Goldie is constantly pursuing new ventures and stretching limits to new goals.  She has been a dancer, actress, comedian, TV host, producer, director and singer.  (Little known fact, Goldie released a country album in 1972).  Because Goldie has invited so many new experiences into her life, she has added to her own dimensions, which makes her a more interesting and alluring person.  Often times individuals look to enrich their dimensions solely through the lives of their significant others.  But people truly admire and gravitate to those who are able to lead full lives on their own accord. 

Don’t be afraid to be animated.  Goldie has long been known for her bubbly personality, contagious laugh and ability to be silly and ridiculous on the spot.  Being comfortable enough with yourself to look foolish takes solid self-assurance and this can be dually interpreted as the ability to be a fun an uninhibited romantic partner.   

Add some zen to the mix. Goldie founded “The Hawn Foundation”, which is focused on improving youth academic results through social and emotional learning programs.  These programs have been noted to reduce stress and aggressive behavior, improve focus and increase resiliency.  Goldie is a longtime advocate of having a mindfulness practice in place, so she no doubt reaps these same benefits when turbulent times hit in her relationship or “one of those days” ensues.  Marital counseling is often suggested at the beginning of a relationship, but a constant practice isn’t as vocally advocated.  Having some type of mindfulness practice in place can go a long way in preventing unnecessary arguments and anxieties in a relationship.

Thank you Goldie for being such a bright light of individualism.  May we all pursue life with the gusto you put into your new chapters.    

Stepping Stones:

Goldie took time to think about her authentic definition of a relationship and formed a 32-year and counting partnership with Kurt Russell.  Have you ever analyzed a different structure to what a relationship could mean in your life?  For instance, a friend of mine just got married and keeps her relationship long-distance with rotating bi-monthly long visits with one another.  What is one way you’d like to see your relationship take on a new light? 

Many times when we forge a partnership, we are so eager to become “one” that we leave a large part of ourselves in the shadows.  Is there an area of yourself that you wish could be more involved in your current relationship?  For instance, you used to paint often but now the spare bedroom is your partner’s office and there is no room for a studio in your place. When we fulfill our own burning desires, we become more of a burning desire ourselves.  What is something you can revive in your personal life today? 

Goldie putting out a country album may seem random to some since her acting persona is so prominent.  What is a “random” interest you pursued that those close to you would be surprised to learn?

We can often be too nervous around a new potential partner to be our true silly selves, but in Goldie’s case, that is the very trait that drew others to her.  When was the last time you felt inhabited enough to break out and dance, sing a funny song, or step up to the plate and tell a good joke?   Care to share a story of when you met someone in your life through a humorous happening?

Goldie is a longtime advocate of meditation.  Have you ever meditated, prayed or talked about your spiritual side with a romantic partner?  If so, how did it affect your relationship?  If not, is it something you would ever try? 

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A global vision: BARBARA McNALLY’S
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Barbara McNally lives in San Diego where she supports organizations and sponsors activities that help women explore their potential for freedom and individuality. To further this cause, she started a foundation called Mother, Lover, Fighter, Sage. Open to receive and ready to give, Barbara continues her own journey to freedom with a daily zest for living large. READ MORE>>

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